26 Jun Sex Is Nothing More Than Playing Tennis
Once a seeker asked Osho, ” Why has sex always been included with anger, jealousy, cruelty, greed, possessiveness, violence, but never with fun, joy, love, playfulness, friendship and other great things that you have associated it with?”
Osho : “Sex has nothing to do with jealousy, anger, possessiveness. But man’s mind has been conditioned in such a way by the vested interests that they have exploited the very source of your life energy — sex — to fulfill their own interests.
For example, man is naturally polygamous — and by man I don’t mean only men but women too. Human beings are polygamous, but all the societies have forced monogamy. Now that creates the trouble. The trouble is not coming out of sex, the trouble is coming out of monogamy.
You find yourself tied together with a woman or with a man, and it is a natural longing once in a while to have some different food. The same man-the same stink; the same woman — the same geography which you have explored thousands of times. Again you have to explore it and there is nothing left to explore — all is explored. You get fed up. That is intelligent; only intelligence gets fed up. You would love to have once in a while another woman, another man.
If society were run by intelligent people, not by people who want to exploit you, but by people who want to fulfill your nature to its uttermost capacity, there would be no jealousy. The wife would understand that once in a while the husband needs some other woman, “just the way I need some other man.” And it is perfectly natural. We are all human beings.
What is wrong if you play tennis with one partner today, another partner another day? Is there any jealousy? There is no question of jealousy. And it is nothing more than tennis — two energies meeting and merging. And after the pill, the basic argument of all the religions is completely outdated.
All the religions were insisting that monogamy has to remain because of children; otherwise, who will be responsible for children? The pill has made it possible that now sex need not be a bondage, because children are not a problem any more. Sex is free from the bondage of biology. Hence I say again and again that after the discovery of fire, the pill is the greatest revolution, the greatest discovery.
When there is no jealousy there is no anger, and all the qualities that I speak of will come automatically. A woman who gives you freedom, a man who never tries to possess you — — do you think friendship will not arise between these two persons? A man giving freedom to the wife, a wife giving freedom to the husband — there is bound to be great friendship, great intimacy.
The wife can tell her husband how the other man was. The man can describe to his wife how the other woman proved to be. He need not hide it. The friendship makes it possible to come closer, to be more intimate. But the societies of the past never wanted this to happen. They wanted people to remain bored: tie one woman to one man forever, and you have started a pilgrimage to the ultimate boredom. These bored people, suffering, cannot revolt. They cannot achieve their climax of intelligence; the boredom goes on destroying every possibility.
When two persons give freedom to each other, they both grow rich in experiences. Perhaps there was a treasure in your wife that you were not aware of. Making love to another woman, you discover it; the other woman becomes a tremendous help. Now your wife is not just the old geography: something new, some new opening, some new corner, some new space…. You start searching for that new space that you have found in the other woman — because each woman is unique, just as every man is unique.
A man should be allowed to come in contact with as many as women as possible. A woman should be allowed to come in contact with as many men as possible. Both will be richer, and rich in experience, intimacy, friendship; they will know the heights of love which otherwise are missing.
But the vested interests don’t want you to be intelligent, to be rich in experience, to reach to the climax of your potential, because that is dangerous to them. You can remain slaves only if you are poor in experience, if you are poor in intelligence. You can remain slaves only if you are a hen-pecked husband. You know perfectly well that you cannot even control your wife. You will never try to make any effort to rise higher in any field, you know your wife can pull you down immediately.
And the wife has been imprisoned in the house. On whom is she going to take revenge? Who is responsible for all this? She finds nobody other than the husband.
This ugly situation is our own creation.
My effort is to help you understand that love is not a commodity. I am for richness in every dimension of life. I am against poverty in every dimension of life.
Freedom to me is the ultimate experience, the most beautiful, the most divine.”
Excerpted from From Death to Deathlessness/Courtesy Osho International Foundation/www.osho.com